. . . also known as the reason I am staying indoors for the duration of the winter and avoiding all human contact. If forced to leave my carefully hermetically sealed house, I am going out garbed ala Invader Zim in that episode where he went all freaky germaphobic.

Totally like that. But add a face shield and a modified electric pet fence to gently electrocute anyone who gets too close.

Okay, I know, I’m going a bit overboard. I still have to finish college. I can’t become a shut-in yet. And really, the movie didn’t freak me out that much. I exaggerate. I liked it. It was very methodical in its pacing; when I first heard people talking about it, they compared it to Outbreak (1995, Dustin Hoffman, Rene Russo, Morgan Freeman), but to me, Outbreak was more of an action movie, you know, with the big race to find that damn monkey and et cetera. I recommend Contagion. What was neat about it, at least when I saw it, was that someone in the audience was coughing at infrequent intervals during it.

When Contagion comes out on DVD, I am going to buy it and Outbreak and mail them to “why don’t you join a writer’s group” Flo. She is a germaphobe.

Oh, and this pissed me off: one of the movie trailers was for The Thing, which is a remake of a remake. The 1982 version, by John Carpenter and starring Kurt Russell, was a remake of the 1951 film The Thing from Another World, with James Arness as the thing from you know where. Aaannnddd they are all based on the novella “Who Goes There?” by John W. Campbell, Jr.

Carpenter’s has hands-down the most awesome movie tagline ever: “Man Is the Warmest Place to Hide.”

Hollywood remakes piss me off and bum me out. Fright Night, Footloose, The Karate Kid, Arthur, The Crazies, The Clash of the Titans . . . I exclude movies based on novels/novellas/short stories/comic books, like Straw Dogs (The Siege of Trencher’s Farm by Gordon Williams) and Conan the Barbarian (buncha stories by Robert E. Howard and a long-running comic by Marvel). There’s even a Red Dawn remake in the works, according to the Internet. And we know the Internet is never wrong, at least when it comes to blurgh news like this.

Not that I want to see crap like Battleship (I am basing this opinion on the trailers), but can’t Hollywood make, I don’t know, original movies?

And yes, I realize that complaining about The Thing, and then stating that I exclude movies based on books, as I believe that those are different animals, as there can be different interpretations of books, makes me a bit of a hypocrite. Meh.



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