The Literal Asshole.

Bumper sticker plastered on the tailgate of a pickup truck the other day:

Actually, if you can read that, first thank your parents, who made sure you went to school every day. Also thank your genes for not giving you any sort of learning disability. Also thank Father Time, for not letting you be born in the 16th century or then abouts, when literacy was for the rich.

As for thanking a soldier . . . while I am all for thanking soldiers, this bumper sticker seems to indicate that sometime in the past, our shores have been invaded, or threatened to be invaded, by a horde of non-English-speaking enemy forces. The only time that America was actually invaded was during the War of 1812 (which lasted from 1812 to 1815; the invasion occurred during 1814) . . . when we were invaded by the British.

Who speak English.

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