Not a Halloween post, but it involves a firearm, which is scary.

Today, I bought a gun.

Let me back up. I actually bought it Monday, but since the gun store had to order it, I didn’t officially own it until today. And even then, I had to pass a background check, so ten minutes after holding it and nodding appreciatively, I owned it.

Enough backing up. Forward!

I bought a gun. A Glock 27, a .40-caliber subcompact pistol. Also known as a baby Glock, which is a cute nickname for a bloodthirsty, remorseless killing machine. It’s like my very own pet werewolf.

I’ve shot guns before (I live in Texas, remember): M-1 rifle, a shotgun, a couple of Glock pistols (17s, I think), an M-60, an M-16, a few black powder pistols. So I understand “assume it’s always loaded”, “never point it at something unless you intend to shoot it”, all that. I bought the gun for protection, and to take it to the local firing range and let off a little steam. I’ve always liked target shooting, and I used to be pretty good at it.

But I couldn’t help but think as I slid back the slide for the first time: “Fuck. Yes. Bring on the zombies.”

What surprised me the most about my gun-buying experience was how quick it was. I thought there was a 2-week waiting period, but no. I bought the gun (the state needs the serial number on file), I filled out a form (checking “no” when asked if I was a felon, an illegal alien, or mentally unbalanced), signed my name, handed it and my driver’s license to the clerk, and paged through the Glock’s owner manual while the clerk called in my information. After the phone call was over, he said I was approved and how many boxes of ammunition did I want to buy today?

I love this state. I freakin’ love it.

I bought this particular Glock after months of deliberation. I asked advice from gun store owners. I went to a few gun forums on the Internet. I watched YouTube videos of various guns being fired and cleaned. (Besides cat videos and fat people breaking chairs after sitting in them, YouTube is a handy place to comparison shop.) I chose this gun because the consensus was that it was light, accurate, good for concealment (I’m getting my concealed handgun license later this month), and the .40-caliber rounds had good stopping power.

Also, because zombies.



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