Anonymous blog person’s guide to Star Trek


. . . Into Darkness, of course. I’m not that behind.

I think that once you make a sequel to a reboot, you can stop pointing out that the franchise is a reboot. At that point, it becomes its own entity. (Off-the-cuff remark here: requelboot, the reboot’s sequel. I have just created this, Internet. Treat it well.)

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD, BUT COME ON, THE MOVIE’S BEEN OUT SINCE FRIDAY, THURSDAY NIGHT AT SOME PLACES, PLUS OVERSEAS, AND NOTHING STAYS SECRET ON THE INTERNET ANYWAY.

So, this functions as a sort of Wrath of Khan retooling (not a reboot, because rebooting another movie within the confines of a reboot is some high-level Inception-type shit, and didn’t I just say that I wasn’t going to refer to this movie as a reboot?). We have a pasty Brit with the most British name of all time (Benedict Cumberbatch, c’mon, that just screams tea and crumpets) taking the place of Ricardo Montalban. Cumberbatch doesn’t take off his shirt in this flick, so I have no idea how he stacks up to Montalban in the chest department.

advantage: Montalban
advantage: Montalban

Uh, okay, so the plot. Explosion, Prime Directive, talking, explosion, space stuff. Neat-o space battle. The Enterprise rises up from clouds, and that looks pretty freakin’ cool.

Peter Weller/RoboCop wants to start a war with the Klingons, and for me, the biggest surprise wasn’t Khan, but that the Klingons looked like the Next Generation-era Klingons, with the spine thing running up the center of their foreheads.

Of course RoboCop, the logical thing to do is unfreeze a guy you just found, who’s been frozen for 300 hundred or so years, and use his genetically enhanced intelligence and other stuff to build super weapons while you hold his other frozen friends, his family, hostage. Smart, and in no way will lead to your head getting popped like a zit later.

Pike dies, and Kirk dies, and Spock screams “KHAAAANNN!” and that’s awesome, but oh wait, Kirk gets resurrected, because no one dies in movies anymore. They even brought back Agent Coulson for the S.H.I.E.L.D. TV show. Seriously, why not keep Kirk dead, at least for the rest of the movie? Bring him back in the third, I dunno how, just think of something. Damn movies are getting worse than comic books. Robin’s dead? Wait a month.

Overall, good popcorn movie with great special effects. One complaint, though: why does the blond chick who’s revealed to be the Peter Weller character’s daughter have a British accent, when he does not? I thought it was part of her cover, since you don’t know who she really is at first, but she kept it up even after the reveal.

because everyone else has a scene from the movie or the poster, and i must be different.
because everyone else has a scene from the movie or the poster, and i must be different.
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4 thoughts on “Anonymous blog person’s guide to Star Trek

Add yours

      1. Yeah… I still am not 100% sure of her reason for being in the movie. I like the ‘hot accent’ theory. Let’s stick with that.

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