Anonymous Blog Person’s Guide to This is the End


this-is-the-end

I had plans on seeing Man of Steel instead, but the lines at the ticket booth last night were 30-plus deep, and a couple of the showings were sold out already.

Plus, there was a 5 or 6 year-old kid in a Superman costume.

It’s a PG-13 movie.

This bothered me, so I opted for my second choice (I always try to have a backup movie), This is the End, which unbeknownst to me involved demons and a lot of dick jokes. Which I am fine with, by the way.

I read a review last night on Twitter where someone described it as Left Behind for potheads. I’m too lazy to find the original tweet. Just know it isn’t mine. But it’s an accurate description.

I didn’t know that going in, however. I saw one trailer on YouTube, which convinced me I needed to see this movie. All I knew was that James Franco, Seth Rogen, and a few others played themselves, and there’d been some sort of disaster. (For the guy sitting behind me, who whisper-asked his girlfriend where he’d seen Jay Baruchel before, the answer is probably Tropic Thunder, though he was also in the short-lived Fox/Judd Apatow sitcom Undeclared, along with a pre-Sons of Anarchy Charlie Hunnam. Baruchel also voiced Hiccup in How to Train Your Dragon.)

All right, so, disaster strikes. Somehow, the electricity stays on way longer than it usually does, and I have to ask why no one tried the water faucets, but still, overall, funny movie. Sales of Milky Way bars might go up, along with downloads of Backstreet Boys tunes.

Rihanna was in it, but I didn’t mind. She redeemed herself for Battleship by falling into a hole. Oops, spoiler.

If you’ve ever wanted to see Jonah Hill raped by a demon, here’s your chance. Oops, spoiler.

I wanted to reveal another spoiler, which happens way later in the film and involves a surprise guest star, but I won’t. It’s hilarious to see, though, and elicited a few shocked gasps from the audience.

“Hermione just stole all of our shit.” Classic.

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