Another crappy line

Still gearing up for the Bulwer-Lytton bad opening line contest. The following line was conceived in Taco Bell. I blame the chalupas. "Pow! went his grandmother's fart, and Rick, a Vietnam veteran, flung his shell-shocked body to the lushly carpeted floor, rising to his feet only after he smelt what she had dealt."  


Crappy lines 2

It's harder to write a bad opening line than I thought. I take this as a good sign. Here are two more lines I wrote for the Bulwer-Lytton contest. I wrote these in Taco Bell; I wonder what sort of output I could expect from McDonald's or Burger King? "His penis was like a throbbing... Continue Reading →

Crappy lines to crappy novels

. . .  when I came across the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest in a back issue of Writer's Digest. ( The contest is sponsored by the English department at San Jose State University, and it challenges entrants to write godawful opening lines to possible godawful novels. The "dark and stormy" line was originally penned by Edward George Bulwer-Lytton,... Continue Reading →

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